Okay guys... lemme ask you all a question
- Thread starter TheDude1
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OP will be playing catcher a long time
Golf sounds like a good one, but my guess is that as I haven’t tried it yet at 44, I’d never be good enough to play with anyone else.
Hockey, shit, it’s the ice times. They suck. I played in high school and college and after that, but the idea of a ten PM ice time makes me want to shoot myself in the face
. What position you play?
3 in 10 Millennials often feel lonely. That's sad. I assume most of those Millennials don't have families yet. Gotta imagine growing up in an era where communication is frequently done through channels that aren't face-to-face hasn't helped in creating real, lasting friendships.
Honestly, I feel like I'm in the same boat as the OP. I have a wife and two small kids. I work mostly with females. So yeah, not exactly people I'd hang around after business hours - or have long discussions with at work. I think most of us would prefer having discussions like this in person, right? But man, I have a hard time finding anyone that actually likes to talk basketball on more than just an elementary level. As far as not making friends, I kind of feel like that is mostly true. However, I must admit, I crave alone time. I waste a lot of time on here, I'll concede (mostly at work or when kids/wife are asleep). But, alone time is nice. Like really nice. I like to read. I like to watch games. I like to run. I like to shoot the basketball. I like to come on Rivals. When the kids get older and free time after work becomes more available, I'm sure things will be reversed and I'll want more hangouts. But right now, nah. Give me my own time.
I’m very content living by myself. I’ve never had an issue being alone and sometimes even prefer it. Granted I don’t have kids, so it’s probably a lot easier to make time for friends. But I can tell as I get older it will be harder to see a lot of mine. People will be having families or moving. I’m enjoying it while it lasts.
Golf is a great game to pick up. It will frustrate the hell out of you, and will kick your ass sometimes. The key is being able to enjoy everything even though you might not be the best player out there. Beautiful weather, friends, nature, legally being able to drink and drive (my favorite part). I’m sure you have some teacher friends who would be willing to take you up on it and play with youGolf sounds like a good one, but my guess is that as I haven’t tried it yet at 44, I’d never be good enough to play with anyone else.
Hockey, shit, it’s the ice times. They suck. I played in high school and college and after that, but the idea of a ten PM ice time makes me want to shoot myself in the face
You seriously made a Facebook post asking other guys on your friends list if they are lonely?
Holy shit
Making friends isn’t nearly as hard as you think it is.
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This thread has made me feel better about myself...thanks guys.
No but I’m typically not annoying or socially awkward. Sounds like you need to re-evaluate your life and are closing in on a midlife crisis.
lol! ohhhhhh boy!@toonces11 thoughts?
I’m the exact same way, and after college seeing all my friends move in every possible direction for jobs, it was definitely depressing. Add in the fact that I’m not much on social media, and it’s just hard to keep in touch. I talked to a buddy of mine that was like a brother in college just the other day and we both kind of had a simultaneous epiphany, like damn dude we ain’t seen each other in 10 effin years. Crazy
I’ve always found it really easy to make friends. I’m from a small town in the middle of nowhere and was friends with everyone growing up. Was prom king in high school. I moved away for college and by my second year there was the one throwing parties every weekend. Since then I’ve moved to three new towns and have made some great friends along the way.
The wife makes jokes about it saying that I get along with everybody and can make friends anywhere.
I don’t think it’s hard. Go to the bar and find someone watching sports and start talking sports to them. Go to the bar and play some music on the jukebox and when people like what you’re playing use it as a conversation starter. Join a golf league even if you suck. I’m the worst golfer in our league and it doesn’t bother me.
I work with almost entirely women. I’ve made friends with some of their husbands. If one mentions her husband likes baseball you say “we should all got a a brewers game together time”. If you aren’t insufferable or a creeper they’ll probably be down.
I’m a good talker and I’m good at being genuinely interested in what someone new does or likes. I feel like if you can be good at those two things you’ll have no problem finding people who enjoy hanging out with you.
Edit: Some of my best friends now I’ve met through being in the same fantasy sports leagues as them. Friends of my friends that I ended up having a lot in common with.
The wife makes jokes about it saying that I get along with everybody and can make friends anywhere.
I don’t think it’s hard. Go to the bar and find someone watching sports and start talking sports to them. Go to the bar and play some music on the jukebox and when people like what you’re playing use it as a conversation starter. Join a golf league even if you suck. I’m the worst golfer in our league and it doesn’t bother me.
I work with almost entirely women. I’ve made friends with some of their husbands. If one mentions her husband likes baseball you say “we should all got a a brewers game together time”. If you aren’t insufferable or a creeper they’ll probably be down.
I’m a good talker and I’m good at being genuinely interested in what someone new does or likes. I feel like if you can be good at those two things you’ll have no problem finding people who enjoy hanging out with you.
Edit: Some of my best friends now I’ve met through being in the same fantasy sports leagues as them. Friends of my friends that I ended up having a lot in common with.
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On a side note, I DO miss working with other guys where I could bullshit about sports every day. Ever since being in healthcare 90% of my coworkers couldn’t tell you how many teams make the NCAA tournament. That’s what brought me to posting on forums about sports.
Sports, Skin products, eating well, and staying in shape.
That's gay. wait...
I'd bring up "have you ever seen that move with the blue...:
Guys only bars with a discount on alcohol is a fun spot.
Golf sounds like a good one, but my guess is that as I haven’t tried it yet at 44, I’d never be good enough to play with anyone else.
Hockey, shit, it’s the ice times. They suck. I played in high school and college and after that, but the idea of a ten PM ice time makes me want to shoot myself in the face
Yea the ice times suck, that's one of the reasons I retired from all league hockey a few years ago. I played in some leagues where 10pm was actually an early start time. At one point recently I was playing on 8 teams at the same time, playing 5x per week and that was with missing some games due to conflicts. I now only play old man rat hockey and never late at night. I play friday afternoon and Sunday very early in the morning, sometimes Saturday early am as well. I try to get in at least 3x per week for exercise.
As far as position, I was a defenseman growing up, but when I came back to men's league hockey 75 pounds lighter than i was as a kid I reinvented myself as a center. played that for about 15 years until my back and old age caught up to me and then moved to my off wing so I didn't have to cover as much ice. Over the years I eventually moved from left wing to my current position, guy who cherry picks at the far blue line.
Man, that’s great. I wish I could play that often. It’s just tough... the wife works two or three nights a week, so those are out. So that leaves four or maybe five nights, and the rink is a solid 25 minutes away, and I gotta be up at six AM... it’s just tough.
I’m a goalie. I’ve got a ton of stories... worked in pro sports before becoming a teacher. Got to play in net in a camp for our clients when I was an agent... at one point I looked up and faced a three on 0 of Valeri Zelepukin, Viktor Koslov, and Alexei Yashin. It didn’t end well
Btw, autocorrect does not like Russian names. FFS.
Maybe I misread OP’s post but I took it to mean it’s difficult to become close friends with other people once you get older. Making friends is easy. Really easy IMO. But becoming very close to somebody in your adult years is a lot harder. Mainly because when you get older everybody is living their own lives, doing their own thing, raising their kids, etc. Acquaintances are a dime a dozen in your 30’s-40’s but I’d be willing to bet most people’s “best” friends are all still from college and high school.
So that’s how I took it. I took it to mean he’s asking if other adult men find it hard to find other adult men to really bond with and want to hang with. Especially when they live someplace away from where they come from. I could be wrong. I am drunk. Bill Burr in 2 more days.
So you're gay. It's ok. Just live your truth man.
Maybe I misread OP’s post but I took it to mean it’s difficult to become close friends with other people once you get older. Making friends is easy. Really easy IMO. But becoming very close to somebody in your adult years is a lot harder. Mainly because when you get older everybody is living their own lives, doing their own thing, raising their kids, etc. Acquaintances are a dime a dozen in your 30’s-40’s but I’d be willing to bet most people’s “best” friends are all still from college and high school.
So that’s how I took it. I took it to mean he’s asking if other adult men find it hard to find other adult men to really bond with and want to hang with. Especially when they live someplace away from where they come from. I could be wrong. I am drunk. Bill Burr in 2 more days.
I don’t think that’s true either, though. In fact while I’m still friends with my friends from home, but many of my close friends are people I’ve met since moving.
I nver thought about it buy, I guess it silly to rank friends on how long you've known them. Sure they know more about you than current friends, but I guess ppl can have a deeper connection.
I'm actually surprised anyone likes me to be honest. I'm a bit wound tight and when I let loose, I'm sure it's a lot to handle.
I'm actually surprised anyone likes me to be honest. I'm a bit wound tight and when I let loose, I'm sure it's a lot to handle.
(Insert countless jokes here and here) in a light hearted manner of course.
I haven't had the same experience but I could see how you could feel that way in your current situation. I think the one thing I would share common ground with you on is the frequency in which you get to hang out. Time ****ing flies during the good weather months, add in a 3 month and a 3 year old and you feel like weekends last a couple hours and your somehow back at work. Vacations are half work/half getaway----in which you usually need a god damn vacation to recover from. My main feeling/emotion these days is there just isn't enough hours in the day to get everything i want and need to get done and I want to work less and make more money!
I also find you need to surround yourself with the best of the best if you can. Hang out with more successful people than you are, hang out with funnier, smarter, better looking people---keeps you hungry and humble......they also have hotter wives.
The best line you can drop on a gay or lesbian that will not shut up about their LGBT**** status is simply stating: I highly doubt your sexual orientation is the most interesting thing about you--tell me what else your interested in.
I can’t tell if I’m the norm or outlier. But most of, if not all, my best friends I’ve known since high school or college. I’ve hardly made any new “close” friends as I’ve gotten older. If anything, my circle gets smaller as time goes on. I consider myself pretty social and I can talk to anyone about anything. Maybe it’s a trust thing? Who knows.
take up bowling, good way to meet and make new friends
mixed league have 2 men and 2 women on a team ussually have 8 teams. or join a men's league AND NOBODY cares how good or bad you are either,
have a few beers or hard drink. before during or after with your new friends.
one other thing you don't have to worry about making up your own Team as the bowling ally will put you on a team that needs a bowler or 2 to fill out their rosters.
mixed league have 2 men and 2 women on a team ussually have 8 teams. or join a men's league AND NOBODY cares how good or bad you are either,
have a few beers or hard drink. before during or after with your new friends.
one other thing you don't have to worry about making up your own Team as the bowling ally will put you on a team that needs a bowler or 2 to fill out their rosters.
When you have kids, however, it's a game-changer. Everything has to be planned. Your mobility in going places, meeting up with friends, doing things spur of the moment is quite limited. Unless you have a full-time nanny on your payroll.
I have a bunch of similar situations as you do. Besides for my wife and family, I basically only have 1 friend. However, if I'm being honest, its mainly just because of laziness. It's way too much effort when you have kids to have a bunch of friends. Just give me 1 great friend and I'm usually good.
Seriously....you hit the nail on the head....with work, wife and kids, by the end of the day I really don't want to be around anyone but the select few I've chosen to be close to. You work all day...usually the last thing you feel like doing once work is over is to voluntarily surround yourself with random strangers.
So . . . my wife and I were invited to attend a little seasonal soiree today, complete with pomp, circumstance and pretense. I begrudgingly had to wear a tie/sport coat.
We arrived a little late due to a babysitting delay, and when we arrived, the people that invited us already had their seats with another couple, and the tables couldn't be pulled together. We ended up having to sit with another couple they were friends with, but unknowns to us. It rained today, therefor it was humid and kept me in a low grade sweat all afternoon. The couple we sat with were nice enough but were only dating, no kids, and they were about 15 years younger than us.We had a nice enough time despite the humidity, the age gap, lack of anything really in common, etc. It was pleasant at best. While I was taking a sip of my drink I reminded myself to come home (1 1/2 hr drive) and open this very thread to remind you how underwhelming other people can be. They disappoint you. They sometimes turn on you. They impose on you. Company is HIGHLY overrated.
I've come to understand that I love everything except humanity. It's not a choice; just an observation.
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I didn't realize you were married.So . . . my wife and I were invited to attend a little seasonal soiree today, complete with pomp, circumstance and pretense. I begrudgingly had to wear a tie/sport coat.
We had a nice enough time despite the humidity, the age gap, lack of anything really in common, etc. It was pleasant at best. While I was taking a sip of my drink I reminded myself to come home (1 1/2 hr drive) and open this very thread to remind you how underwhelming other people can be. They disappoint you. They sometimes turn on you. They impose on you. Company is HIGHLY overrated.
I've come to understand that I love everything except humanity. It's not a choice; just an observation.
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