Okay guys... lemme ask you all a question

Discussion in 'College Basketball Board' started by TheDude1, Aug 29, 2019.

  1. TheDude1

    TheDude1 Well-Known Member
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    So, can I ask you guys a question?

    I asked a bunch of guys I know on Facebook if they are sort of lonely. And every single one of them was like "Oh **** yeah, for sure."

    Now, I know part of it is age and where I am in life... I'm married with two kids, and between balancing my work, and the wife's work (she works opposite hours), and taking care of the two kids (who are 4 and 7, so in a really needy time of life, rather than 14 and 17) it just doesn't leave a lot of time.

    For me personally I think it is also my job; I work with basically 100 percent women, and as nice as it is, I don't really have "work friends" who I can grab a drink and watch a game with.

    I also have no family around me; only child, and my cousins live in Cali.

    But shit man... as a dude, I really do need more dude friends. My best friends from college live on the left coast, and the few guy friends I have here have two and three kids and are working all the time. Plus, one or two of them are fun to hang with, but also spend a lot of their time bitching about their lives, and I don't wanna necessarily spend ages talking about that. And I miss being able to shoot the shit with guys.

    Any of you guys run into this? I know it is being talked about more and more often... that guys really struggle finding friends, especially as they get a bit older. But any of you dudes feeling sort of lonely?

    (And yes, I know that guys aren't supposed to talk about this stuff for some strange reason.)
     
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  2. JimboBBN

    JimboBBN Well-Known Member
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    I’ll be your friend, OP
     
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  3. TheDude1

    TheDude1 Well-Known Member
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    Oh, go have a beer with @KisteK, asshole.
     
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  4. Wall2Boogie

    Wall2Boogie Well-Known Member
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    Hi op

    [​IMG]
     
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  5. IUfanBorden

    IUfanBorden Well-Known Member
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    I'm kinda of with ya, brother. My job, then officiating, keeps me super busy. Especially when basketball/baseball overlap. I just have no time. Most of my "friends", are the guys on my officiating umpiring crews, that I travel with some 8 months out of the year. My other friends, i.e. dudes I grew up with, etc, etx..rarely call me to do anything, because they know I normally to busy. So I've basically lost touch with most of them.
    As for family? Meh...scattered, really. My mom and sister live in Utah. My dad in Georgia . My brother in Lexington, Kay "Y". Aunts and uncles are relatively close; one does live in North Carolina though. Seems the only time we see one another is during funerals...But that's about to change as this weekend, we are FINALLY having a legit , family gathering. The 1st annual " Borden Fam Get 2 gether". So looking forward to that.
    My children are grown. So I don't have those dudes holding me down.
    All in all, life is ok. Could be bettwr. Certainly could be worse.
     
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  6. IUfanBorden

    IUfanBorden Well-Known Member
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    Also, OP...My idea of a board get 2 gather was partially in mind for lonely mutherfckers like yourself...Laughing
    Which makes sense. Coming from me..:oops:
     
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  7. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    I've certainly become more isolated in recent years since I moved to Midland. This town has a lot of people from here, and I certainly do hang out with my wife's friends (she's from here) but I'm not close to any of them really. Plus everybody is older with kids now so there's less opportunities to have nights out together to bond with people. It's tough trying to break into a crowd of people who mostly have known each other for a really long time.

    It's also a big oil town. There's a lot of transplants here but most aren't really in a situation like myself. There's people from Houston and DFW but most graduates are Texas Tech, Texas A&M, TCU, etc. They graduated in oil/gas related fields and come here already knowing dozens of classmates/friends. I went to Kansas, which has no specific oil/gas program and I made the move here to be closer to where I did my work, and I kind of have to make work happen for myself. Other people are offered jobs by the bigger oil companies.

    On top of that, I work from home so I only see people I work with once every few weeks. So while we are friends and I occasionally do go out with them, I'm not real close to any of them either. That will be changing soon though since I'm getting an office with a business partner downtown.

    It is hard to make friends with other adult men. Especially in this town. It wasn't ever like this in Fort Worth when I was there, or in college.. People are pretty friendly but it's a very very competitive business and I work on the side of the industry that is as competitive as it gets. There's a lot of entitlement with some people and when you meet people instead of caring to know about you they'll gauge your worthiness first and foremost. Because there's so many people like that here in this city it puts peoples guard up more than it should be. It also doesn't help that I don't hunt or play much golf. That's literally what everybody here does whenever they can. Most of my guy time these days comes from messing with you all, texting with all of my old friends (which never stops) and when we travel (which we do a lot).
     
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  8. SIhoosier26

    SIhoosier26 Well-Known Member
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  9. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    I get that way sometimes. It's a ratio of responsibilities to down time. I have thoughts of being more social with other guys, but when/if it happens I find it's overrated. I think it comes with age too. You seem a bit younger than me (50), but as I get older the more I just want to be left alone. A healthy dose of it can get lonely, but people are so opiniated and set in their ways that I find I only want to be friends when I want to be.

    This board helps.
     
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  10. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    I think I missed the question.

    nvm got it. Yes. I really wished someone I knew down here liked sports.

    What I find is, a lot of the ppl I meet, I'm ready to throw them out the door 5 minutes into having them over.

    It's just me, my wife and my brother-in-law down here, and tbh, I've not met anyone else I really enjoy having them over all the time....or even every once in a while. This could be due to my wife and I dealing with so many ppl during the day, that they ruin it for everyone else. I like my island.

    You guys are my fix.
     
    10 lurkeraspect84, Aug 29, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019
  11. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    RollLaugh
     
  12. IUfanBorden

    IUfanBorden Well-Known Member
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    Same thought (s) here. I'm 47. Only people I really meet, are guys that I've never officiated with, etc...Or fans. Lord knows I have no interest in fancying those ****tards.Laughing
    Wife and I have a couple who we frequently camp with, or have dinner with. But other than.that, we mostly keep to ourselves.
     
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  13. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    That's why I really liked the idea of your meet & greet. It would be interesting to put a face to a (board)name, get to know some of you and then leave you all like used up hooker.
     
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  14. Spacegrass

    Spacegrass Well-Known Member
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    This is for you ronery fvckers. Hopefully you find someone to rerate too.
     
  15. IUfanBorden

    IUfanBorden Well-Known Member
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    So we're meeting in Louisville? Laughing
    I would like to meet some.folks off here. Though there are a few that I would certainly want a background check, OR TWO, on before so..:eek:
    I talk to a.couple dudes on the phone from here. Pretty cool.
     
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  16. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    Just say when.
     
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  17. IUfanBorden

    IUfanBorden Well-Known Member
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    Shit, I live less than 20 minutes from Louisville ....Im all in for a meet and greet there..
     
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  18. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    I live about an hour south of Lexington, so Louisville's not that far. If you start to organize it, start a new thread so we won't miss it. It might be best to propose a couple of dates as options. I'll be starting with a new company soon and not sure when training will begin.
     
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  19. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    I grew up in the Campbellsville, Danville, Liberty area.
     
  20. bkingUK

    bkingUK Well-Known Member
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    If I was dropped into any other city with out knowing anyone, I’d be screwed. I’m not good at making friends with strangers. It’s probably my worst attribute.
     
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  21. IUfanBorden

    IUfanBorden Well-Known Member
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    I'd be just fine. I've always been able to just talk to anyone. Very outgoing.
     
  22. IUfanBorden

    IUfanBorden Well-Known Member
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    I'm the last dude to organize shit. We'd start out at the Galt House, but with my procrastination abilities, we'd all end up having to meet at fcking Wal-Mart.
     
  23. I am stupid

    I am stupid Well-Known Member
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    You all sound like a guys who tap each others feet in bathroom stalls.
     
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  24. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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  25. IUfanBorden

    IUfanBorden Well-Known Member
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    Then, after the cameras were off....
     
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  26. Wall2Boogie

    Wall2Boogie Well-Known Member
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    Where’s the fine dining joints in Borden?
     
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  27. IUfanBorden

    IUfanBorden Well-Known Member
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    Actually, just up the hill, is Hubers Family Restaurant and Winery. Absolutely great food. Fried biscuits are unreal...

    Or, there is Save-A-Step. They have really good chicken livers..:D
     
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  28. coryfly

    coryfly Well-Known Member
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    I don't mind being alone. I play golf with a variety of different dudes. I don't really care much about companionship in that sense though. You just can't play by yourself around here. I mean, I like most of the guys I pay golf with but would be ok with anyone pretty much as long as I'm playing. The wife and I will go out with different couple now and then but it mainly to appease them. We could do without it tbh. I see people all the time at church and ballgames and stuff. I've never really felt this loneliness thing though so that is probably a me issue.
     
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  29. IUfanBorden

    IUfanBorden Well-Known Member
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    Yeah, I never feel lonely. I fish alot, and TBH, prefer to fish by myself . Occasionally I'll go fishing with a buddy, or my cousins. My son and I go jere and there .But mostly, I just go by myself. Which is fine by me.
     
  30. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    I can't stand watching a UK game with anyone else.
     
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  31. MrBaracus

    MrBaracus Well-Known Member
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    I'm coming over for the next game. RollLaugh
     
  32. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    You ever eat at the Bread of Life?
     
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  33. WeAreDePaul

    WeAreDePaul Well-Known Member
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    Dude, the fix for this is to get involved in a sport or activity, but preferably a sport. I play hockey and couldn't even count the number of friends i've made from just being on different teams and playing in a variety of leagues over the years. Locker room is a great place to fill up on your "shoot the shit" quota, but if not then the post game beers should do the trick.

    I also play in a golf league after work and over the years have made a lot of friends from that.

    If I didn't have hockey and golf I don't know how I would ever make a friend if I lived somewhere I didn't already have roots.
     
  34. JimboBBN

    JimboBBN Well-Known Member
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    It’s funny you mention sports. I was going to suggest baseball. As OP is a fantastic catcher from what I’ve heard.
     
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  35. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    http://www.hopesandfears.com/hopes/...-so-hard-to-make-new-friends-when-youre-older

    [​IMG]
     
  36. ticket2ride04

    ticket2ride04 Well-Known Member
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    Yeah, this is pretty much me in a nutshell. It’s compounded by area we live in but I don’t have many good friends that live close by. We recently moved from a densely populated neighborhood where I had a few buddies but even then we didn’t do that much together.

    Is it age? Function of the times? Are we internet losers?
     
  37. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    Many times.
     
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  38. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    There's no doubt I would have more ppl over if I lived closer to home.
     
  39. WeAreDePaul

    WeAreDePaul Well-Known Member
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    My dad is 76 and just recently stopped playing in an over 50 fast pitch baseball league. Even if OP can no longer play catcher he can still play in a league like that for fun.
     
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  40. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    re-reading the op.

    My wife doesn't like my male friends. That's what it basically boils down to.

    She's amazing but after working 12-15 hours a day at a non profit dealing with teenage boys. She doesn't want to come home to our shenanigans.

    *I don't think Mosquitoes get full
     
    40 lurkeraspect84, Aug 29, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019

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