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You're a Burglar

KYtotheCore

KYtotheCore

Well-Known Member
Jan 5, 2010
2,474
3,754
113
Anytown, USA
but instead of stealing, you mildly inconvenience your victims instead. What do you do?

I would;
  • Leave the freezer door cracked open.
  • Take a bite out of each piece of their fruit.
  • Unscrew their lightbulbs just enough to flicker occasionally.
  • Block all of their contacts on their phone.
  • Sign them up for unwanted calls.
 
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I'll bite on this.

I would get some exceptionally strong industrial grade adhesive to go along with some bolts, I would put all of their furniture upside down on the ceiling, unbolt the ceiling fan, bolt it facing upwards on the ground, turn all of the wall decorations upside down.
 
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Rhavicc said:
I'll bite on this.

I would get some exceptionally strong industrial grade adhesive to go along with some bolts, I would put all of their furniture upside down on the ceiling, unbolt the ceiling fan, bolt it facing upwards on the ground, turn all of the wall decorations upside down.
Click to expand...
That sounds worse than actually being robbed of everything.
 
Rhavicc said:
I'll bite on this.

I would get some exceptionally strong industrial grade adhesive to go along with some bolts, I would put all of their furniture upside down on the ceiling, unbolt the ceiling fan, bolt it facing upwards on the ground, turn all of the wall decorations upside down.
Click to expand...
ChD5.gif
 
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1Switch HDMI's up behind TV's.
2Glue a lead weight on top of one blade of ceiling fan...just heavy enough to make it wobble.
3 give the water shut off valve beneath sink a half turn--diminish water pressure
4 loosen top of both salt and pepper on table
5 put just a little bit of dawn in the liquid dishwasher soap container.
 
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1. Put a hole in 1 sock in each pair
2. Hide the car keys
3. Replace all TV remote batteries with dead ones
4. Squeeze as much toothpaste as possible into the toilet and then put the tube back
 
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toonces11 said:
1Switch HDMI's up behind TV's.
2Glue a lead weight on top of one blade of ceiling fan...just heavy enough to make it wobble.
3 give the water shut off valve beneath sink a half turn--diminish water pressure
4 loosen top of both salt and pepper on table
5 put just a little bit of dawn in the liquid dishwasher soap container.
Click to expand...

Bastard.


Rhavicc said:
I'll bite on this.

I would get some exceptionally strong industrial grade adhesive to go along with some bolts, I would put all of their furniture upside down on the ceiling, unbolt the ceiling fan, bolt it facing upwards on the ground, turn all of the wall decorations upside down.
Click to expand...

I would like to make a revision. Before bolting the dresser to the ceiling, I would meticulously go through all of the owners' socks, find socks that look like they've formed to right feet, and write "L" on them, and then find socks that look like they've formed to fit left feet, and write "R" on them.
 
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I'd clog the kitchen sink drains with towels and turn the water on. My father taught me that.

giphy.gif
 
KYtotheCore said:
  • Sign them up for unwanted calls.
Click to expand...

Reminds me of high school. We had an English teacher that we hated, so we’d search porn sites that offered “send me free sample DVDs” and punch in his name and the school’s address.

Never knew how much of that stuff actually showed up.
 
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I'ld take a permanent marker and draw animal faces on all the peoples faces. Maybe a clown.

I'ld take a big stinky crap in a paper bag. The paper I wiped my but with, and dab it in the shit to get more. I'ld stuff the toilet paper up under the bed.

I'ld take the bag of shit with me. Set it the front porch, light it, then ring the door bell, pound on the door, hollering fire. With any luck they'll just stomp out the fire.

Scatter their garbage on the neighbors lawn as I was exiting. And them ring the neighbors door bell and pound on the door.

As both came out of the house.... There would be some stares and questions to be answered.
 
At house parties in college a roommate and I would "steal" random things.

Usually toothpaste caps, shampoo caps, a shoestring or two (different shoes, always), ranch dressing cap, some poor's only salt shaker, a flashlight battery, light bulbs, some dude's last condom, a tooth brush, a couple of toilet paper roll holders (inserts).. stuff that wasn't too expensive to replace, just inconvenient. We had a box under her bed with all our loot (3 years worth). Our box of laughs.
 
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True story: My house was robbed about 20 years ago. Pretty sure it was a kid that came off the street, got into the house, and was out the door in less than 5 minutes flat.

Fortunately he didn't get much. A full cup of loose change, some cheap necklaces my wife had (she hides the expensive ones....apparently for good reason), and a backpack.

But before leaving, the bastard took my last beer out of the fridge, opened it, took one swig, and then left it on the counter.

The officer who came to the house said it was the first time that he had ever had someone request to him for a fingerprint test on a beer bottle before. Didn't yield any results. :(
 
….As for what I would do:

I would turn on all the closed captioning on all the TV's in Spanish.
I would change the base display language for all the computers to Chinese.
I would adjust the hot water heater tank max heating temperature to 67 degrees.
Switch the contents of the toothpaste tubes and shampoo bottles.
Liberally apply mayonnaise to the furnace filter.
Turn the refrigerator temperature up to 62 degrees.
 
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KisteK said:
At house parties in college a roommate and I would "steal" random things.

Usually toothpaste caps, shampoo caps, a shoestring or two (different shoes, always), ranch dressing cap, some poor's only salt shaker, a flashlight battery, light bulbs, some dude's last condom, a tooth brush, a couple of toilet paper roll holders (inserts).. stuff that wasn't too expensive to replace, just inconvenient. We had a box under her bed with all our loot (3 years worth). Our box of laughs.
Click to expand...
You're too naughty for your own good. You should be disciplined.
 
Last edited:
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poke a hole in the kitchen trash bag, so when they take it out, it pee's on the hardwoods.

Leave the top off the clorox wipes so they dry out

unplug the microwave and plug it back in so the clock flashes.

unhang their wet towel and throw it on the ground.

go into their closet and tightly roll up one sleeve on the guys suitcoat so it will be wrinkly and he wont even check the damn thing before day of.

drink the rest of the milk or juice, but put the container back in the fridge.

Leave deep freezer lid slightly ajar so those annoying little white crystals cover every GD thing.
 
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toonces11 said:
poke a hole in the kitchen trash bag, so when they take it out, it pee's on the hardwoods.

Leave the top off the clorox wipes so they dry out

unplug the microwave and plug it back in so the clock flashes.

unhang their wet towel and throw it on the ground.

go into their closet and tightly roll up one sleeve on the guys suitcoat so it will be wrinkly and he wont even check the damn thing before day of.

drink the rest of the milk or juice, but put the container back in the fridge.

Leave deep freezer lid slightly ajar so those annoying little white crystals cover every GD thing.
Click to expand...

Who hurt you?! Laughing
 
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KisteK said:
Who hurt you?! Laughing
Click to expand...
LOL. I feel like everybody has had these things happen and its always a bigger deal than it should be b/c of timing. Didn't notice the trash leaking sunday night until i came back in from our trash cans. Had just laid down and my wife reminded me we forgot the trash. Stepped in the stinky water trail in my bare feet. Grabbed the swiffer and went to go grab the container of wet wipe things that go on it....open and dry as a bone. Cleaned it up and decided to grab a quick drink of this delicious blueberry good belly juice in the fridge......literally a quarter ounce left. Went upstairs and laid back down....right as i got comfy---heard the GD fridge beep when you don't shut the door all the way. The rest of the stuff is just annoying when it happens. Lets just say I poured one more 3/4 vodka 1/4 CS and slept like an angry dad that day drank
 
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SqueakyClean said:
….As for what I would do:

I would turn on all the closed captioning on all the TV's in Spanish.
I would change the base display language for all the computers to Chinese.
I would adjust the hot water heater tank max heating temperature to 67 degrees.
Switch the contents of the toothpaste tubes and shampoo bottles.
Liberally apply mayonnaise to the furnace filter.
Turn the refrigerator temperature up to 62 degrees.
Click to expand...
I once changed a friends tv system menus to spanish and he never could figure out how to switch it back. We'd go over to hang out and his on screen displays were always still in Spanish. This was pre-internet.
 
Rhavicc said:
I'll bite on this.

I would get some exceptionally strong industrial grade adhesive to go along with some bolts, I would put all of their furniture upside down on the ceiling, unbolt the ceiling fan, bolt it facing upwards on the ground, turn all of the wall decorations upside down.
Click to expand...

And strip the bolts


I'd also poop in random places out of sight
 
thnigs I would do:

1. Turn the fan switch the opposite way so that its pulling up air instead of sending cold air down.

2. Rewire the fan and ceiling light so that the switch that turns the fan on now turns the light on.

3. Blow out the pilot light on the water heater.

4. Hide shrimp or fish guts in the ductwork.

5. puncture holes in the screen just big enough for flies and mosquitoes to get in.

6. move all the clothes from one dresser and put them in the other.

7. short sheet the bed.

8. open all the pop/beer cans in the fridge and leave them so they go stale/flat. leave one pop can unscathed, but shake it up.

9. poke holes in all the chips containers.

10. mix the flour and sugar together into one container.

11. Take the backs off all the remotes as a souvenir.

12. Change the password to their router.

13. Reset the computer to default settings......would work for entertainment system as well.

14. take all the lightbulbs......or replace them with the lowest watt bulb possible.
 
WeAreDePaul said:
1. Rape and murder everyone in the house
2. Leave the toilet seats up
Click to expand...
I always wonder, why has it become our duty as men to put the seat down rather than it is for women to put it up? After all, most of the time we are pissing, so it's just as inconvenient for us when it's down as it is for women when it's up. They have us brainwashed into thinking we are the devil for leaving it up..... I just say it's being gentlemanly, we could just leave it down and piss all over the seat. :eek:
 
KisteK said:
At house parties in college a roommate and I would "steal" random things.

Usually toothpaste caps, shampoo caps, a shoestring or two (different shoes, always), ranch dressing cap, some poor's only salt shaker, a flashlight battery, light bulbs, some dude's last condom, a tooth brush, a couple of toilet paper roll holders (inserts).. stuff that wasn't too expensive to replace, just inconvenient. We had a box under her bed with all our loot (3 years worth). Our box of laughs.
Click to expand...
Evil.... you deserve to get knocked up for that, or at least get the clap.
 
toonces11 said:
LOL. I feel like everybody has had these things happen and its always a bigger deal than it should be b/c of timing. Didn't notice the trash leaking sunday night until i came back in from our trash cans. Had just laid down and my wife reminded me we forgot the trash. Stepped in the stinky water trail in my bare feet. Grabbed the swiffer and went to go grab the container of wet wipe things that go on it....open and dry as a bone. Cleaned it up and decided to grab a quick drink of this delicious blueberry good belly juice in the fridge......literally a quarter ounce left. Went upstairs and laid back down....right as i got comfy---heard the GD fridge beep when you don't shut the door all the way. The rest of the stuff is just annoying when it happens. Lets just say I poured one more 3/4 vodka 1/4 CS and slept like an angry dad that day drank
Click to expand...
What kind of fancy ass fridge you got? :eek:
 
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back when cars had real hubcaps we were at a FB game and i seen a friends car in the lot and i put a few gravel in his hubcap
 
lurkeraspect84 said:
I once changed a friends tv system menus to spanish and he never could figure out how to switch it back. We'd go over to hang out and his on screen displays were always still in Spanish. This was pre-internet.
Click to expand...

Ts, our basement DVD player has been stuck on Hungarian language since 2013/14 when the youngest got ahold of the remote. It is incredibly annoying. Laughing
 
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-Place loud, obnoxious alarm clocks throughout the house in very obscure places (closets, hidden under the bed, cabinets, suitcases). Make sure they're going off in the wee hours of the morning, every 15 minutes. It would be ideal to set 20+ alarm clocks throughout the house.

-Fill styrofoam/plastic cups with water throughout the house. In every bedroom, in every walking area of the house; on every countertop; on every table. Here's a small snapshot of what I'd like to see:

maxresdefault.jpg


cups2.jpg
 
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I totally forgot to replace every smoke alarm battery with ones that are almost dead.
 
turn off every breaker in the breaker box, turn volume on tv all the way up, thermostat on 90, loosen all light bulbs, cover all Windows, remove batteries from all flashlights and line floor in front of breaker box with 500 rat traps. Set off smoke detectors then go outside and videotape the insanity
 
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