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You're not my friend if...

Don't stare at your penis while masturbating.

Drive in the left lane when not passing.
OMG, this.

Add:
Leaving shopping carts in parking spaces

And

Parking your little car in the loading zone at Home Depot or Lowes, when all you're getting is some plumbing fittings, meanwhile, I have to roll two carts of lumber and drywall out to the parking lot, because there are no more spots left in the loading zone. Pisses me off.

Oh, can't f*ck my wife either, that's a biggie in my book.
 
If you didn't find it hilarious when the Napoleonic 5'2 white guy in Kenosha was going up to all the guys with guns and daring them to shoot him...and then 20 minutes later he gets shot and killed by one of them.

I don't care what political side you are on, if that didn't make you laugh out loud then we simply don't mesh as friends.
 
If you didn't find it hilarious when the Napoleonic 5'2 white guy in Kenosha was going up to all the guys with guns and daring them to shoot him...and then 20 minutes later he gets shot and killed by one of them.

I don't care what political side you are on, if that didn't make you laugh out loud then we simply don't mesh as friends.
Wasn't he calling Rittenhouse a "ni***r too? That guy has… .oops, had… .. some issues.
 
My BIL test me. His knowledge of sports consist of throwing like a girl.
Can he at least "play nice" and pretend to be happy for you when your team wins? My sister doesn't give a shit about sports but she will "participate" and act accordingly.
 
No sense of humor.....

Don't like sports....

Son't like the outdoors...

Cannot keep your word...

TBH, I cannot stand to be around someone who always has, "caught a bigger fish..."..Know what I mean? You tell a story, this dude has one better---Every time. SHit pisses me off.

Also, man if you cannot laugh----take a fuking joke, etc, etc...Just stay away. Take your vagina ass to bingo with the ladies...
 
Someone who constantly tries to tell people how educated they are....Usually with minimal personal success in their own life. Also people who think their job is any more important than anyone else's. These type of people need to stfu or have somebody do it for them.
 
Someone who constantly tries to tell people how educated they are....Usually with minimal personal success in their own life. Also people who think their job is any more important than anyone else's. These type of people need to stfu or have somebody do it for them.
Man this 100x's over...We were in a McDonald's one day and this dude, who was dressed rather nice, and seemed well to do, lit into a cashier...He made the statement---"Its why people like you work at McDonalds". My wife looked at me, and said---"Don't". I was like---Nope. All I said was, "Its people like him that allow you to eat here. If you can do better, by all means, do so...I saw a now hiring sign on the door."

Crickets..

Jobs carry diffeent responsibilities...With different levels of importance. But IMO, they all should carry the same level of respect. I respect the guys who pick our garbage up...Or the person who serves me in the drive-thru...Or the lady who changes the garbage and linen at the hospital...Or the person at Wal-Mart who takes the time to show me where something is....To me if you degrade someone b/c of their job, then you have issues....Probably a very insecure person. Or simply just a god damn dick.
 
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If you f*ck my wife, kids or pets.
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"Your PETS"? Dude....what the **** type of people are you dealing with?
 
- People that constantly tell you how wonderful their vegan diet is. Just eat your salad and be sad.

- Someone that talks to you for 30+ minutes... with you barely getting a word in. Monologues are not conversations.
 
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