Wood you Wednesday X

[LetsGoDuke301]

You are approached by a stranger who tells you that you must complete 4 tasks. And after each task, you will receive orders for your next one. At the completion of the fourth task, you will receive $10 million dollars.

Spoiler: Task #1

You are given keys to a car with a trunk full of meth. You must deliver this car to the parking lot of a coffee shop directly across from a police department.

Spoiler: Task #2

After delivering the car full of meth, you are given keys and directions to a motel 6 room. In that room is a prostitute smoking crack. You must smoke crack with her and have unprotected sex afterwards.

Spoiler: Task #3

After you have unprotected sex with the crackhead prostitute she gives you a pair of loppers. Your choice between one of your thumbs or one of your big toes. You must cut one off yourself

Spoiler: Task #4

Your final task is to go neck deep in this lady until she has a showery orgasm

 

[TheDude1]

Jesus. You put some thought into this one. And for most of it I was wondering “Okay, where is the fat chick I have to bang...?”

And no, wouldnt.

 

[lurkeraspect84]

You had me until 2-4.

Edit:I skipped 10 million for some reason. hmmmm

 

[JimboBBN]

Damn, op. This might be the easiest wood knot yet.

 

[lurkeraspect84]

This is almost like "would you trade your dick for 10 million".

 

[LetsGoDuke301]

Damn, op. This might be the easiest wood knot yet.

I am disappointed in you jimbo. You are the one who has always said you would do some disgusting shit for $10 million.

 

[lurkeraspect84]

10 million makes it interesting, but doing #2 and 3...and 4. IMO 4 is the easiest.

 

[hailtoyourvictor]

There’s a lot I would do for money. Cutting off my big toe or getting aids and aids aren’t some of them.

 

[Spacegrass]

I want to know who the boards biggest money whore is that voted yes?

 

[jhmossy]

I want to know who the boards biggest money whore is that voted yes?

 

[jhmossy]

1) Pretty easy. Just gotta be smart to not get caught
2) Smoke some crack and **** her in the butt. All I have to do is insert once and I'm done.
3) Didn't say I have to cut off my entire appendage. Just take a little off. I can always buy a new thumb or toe once I got that paper anyways.
4) I'll make this bitch orgasm in a sec. Plus, if this is all that stands between me and 10 million, I'm doing it.

Honestly, the toughest part for me is smoking the crack. I don't want to get addicted.

 

[lurkeraspect84]

 

[lurkeraspect84]

1) Pretty easy. Just gotta be smart to not get caught
2) Smoke some crack and **** her in the butt. All I have to do is insert once and I'm done.
3) DIdn't say I have to cut off my entire appendage. Just take a little off. I can always buy a new thumb or toe once I got that paper anyways.
4) I'll make this bitch orgasm in a sec. Plus, if this is all that stands between me and 10 million, I'm doing it.

Honestly, the toughest part for me is smoking the crack. I don't want to get addicted.

I wish I could get off that easy.

 

[jhmossy]

I wish I could get off that easy.

No one said you had to get off. One pump counts as intercourse.

 

[lurkeraspect84]

No one said you had to get off. One pump counts as intercourse.

 

[jhmossy]

For the purpose of this challenge it does lol

 

[KYtotheCore]

 

[ThroughBlue]

Wood

 

[lurkeraspect84]

Those balls make the tires look really small.

 

[WeAreDePaul]

1) Pretty easy. Just gotta be smart to not get caught
2) Smoke some crack and **** her in the butt. All I have to do is insert once and I'm done.
3) Didn't say I have to cut off my entire appendage. Just take a little off. I can always buy a new thumb or toe once I got that paper anyways.
4) I'll make this bitch orgasm in a sec. Plus, if this is all that stands between me and 10 million, I'm doing it.

Honestly, the toughest part for me is smoking the crack. I don't want to get addicted.

Stop trying to Us your way out of this!

 

[brooky03]

wood knot, but leaning towards wood at this point. Will anybody else, other than the people directly involved in this scenario, know about what happened? Will the people involved have any evidence that I did these things?

 

[Wall2Boogie]

Where do I sign up?

 

[TheDude1]

Oh man, I don't get it... getting AIDS aint worth ten million dollars.

 

[lurkeraspect84]

Oh man, I don't get it... getting AIDS aint worth ten million dollars.

*Chance* of getting AIDS. Not a guarantee.

 

[WeAreDePaul]

So basically the question is do you want to risk AIDS and cut off a toe in exchange for not having to work again.


Easy no for me, but that said, just out of curiosity, what would a missing toe do to one's balance when playing golf or hockey?

 

[WeAreDePaul]

Oh man, I don't get it... getting AIDS aint worth ten million dollars.

*Chance* of getting AIDS. Not a guarantee.

Point. Counter point.

 

[HRTheCard]

Where’s @Scotty00 at?

 

[mebeblue2]

So basically the question is do you want to risk AIDS and cut off a toe in exchange for not having to work again.


Easy no for me, but that said, just out of curiosity, what would a missing toe do to one's balance when playing golf or hockey?

it depends on which toe
if it is your big toe then you have a problem

 

[ExitFlagger]

Running out of ideas eh?

 

[Spacegrass]

Running out of ideas eh?

Starting to look like the 10th season of a once great sitcom.

 

[ExitFlagger]

Starting to look like the 10th season of a once great sitcom.

Has it jumped the shark?

 

[Spacegrass]

Has it jumped the shark?

 

[coryfly]

No. Losing a digit would impact the golf game.

 

[LetsGoDuke301]

Running out of ideas eh?

It could only go so far.

 

[Kevin Bryan]

I would venture to say that a few posters on this board would call this scenario a typical Wednesday.

 

[lurkeraspect84]

I would venture to say that a few posters on this board would call this scenario a typical Wednesday.

 

[I am stupid]

Thread should have been wood you the chiropractor girl but the doctor has to watch/talk with you.

 

[coryfly]

I've been watched before. Not that big a deal tbh.

 

[KYtotheCore]

Oh man, I don't get it... getting AIDS aint worth ten million dollars.

 

[Kevin Bryan]