The Sideways Locomotive Thread; Your Level of Patriotism, Hot Takes and Overall General Nonsense

Discussion in 'College Basketball Board' started by Random UK Fan, Jul 3, 2019.

  1. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    Oh, my boss is f#cked. He brings Asian hookers to work and offers top sales men to have sex with them. "it's on me".

    *not sex during work, but does bring them by and invites us to after parties. yes, my wife is completely aware.
     
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  2. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    Haha. I've been pretty good for the most part these past 5 years. None of that would ashame me. It's more of the previous 5 years when I was mostly single. Crazy ladies, crazy text messages, crazy searches online after a night at the bars. Nobody wants to see that.
     
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  3. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    We have what's called spiffs. Bonuses created out of the blue. First one sells a car today. Boom 1k gift certificate to Men's warehouse, First up brought in and get a credit check, boom $250. etc. Sometimes spiffs include asian hookers.

    One of my all time favorite spiff is reserved for new salesmen. 100 if you can close the customer in a trunk or back of SUV hatchback. Amazing how hungry those ppl are and what'll they try.
     
  4. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    How do you guys decide who gets the next customer? You just rotate?
     
  5. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    The local weather basically shit on the plans I had today with my wife. There's an outdoor museum being held and I was going to take her to that and out to lunch. I'm thankful she was ok scratching it. Instead, she' getting her hair done, we have a cat with a weepy eye, and will take him to the vet. Not near as romantic, but what can I do?
     
  6. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    Run directly at them.

    Not really, but kind of. Imagine vultures watching a herd of cows waiting for one to fall, the one vulture who sees the cows stumble, customer pulling on the lot, gets the prize. There is some decorum and subtlety. Think of a game of calling shotgun. Except "got 'em" is the accepted phrase.

    I work mostly off appointments, but I do take ups when I have nothing set up.
     
  7. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    The place here must suck at their jobs then. When I went in I basically had to say "hey, I want to test drive this car". They were all just sitting around doing nothing, lol.
     
  8. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    Yeah, they would starve here. People are not trying to just just get by. They're trying to earn more than they ever have.

    I've been at dealerships where they take turns, and like you said, wait for the customer. I didn't like it at all. I like the competition, and being around ppl who are driven.
     
  9. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    The salesman said his goal is 3 cars a week and the dealership probably averages 3 cars per day. That sound pretty low? I thought that seemed like a bunch considering how often you guys have to deal with people just looking.
     
  10. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    My dealership alone sold over 500 cars last month. The family of dealerships were over 5k.

    We're open 8-10 seven days a week and have shifts of salesmen.

    It's a big boy lot. I sold luxury cars prior to here,and was ready to shoot myself with all the down time.

    This isn't the biggest dealership I've worked for. A place in Columbus runs circles around this place.
     
  11. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    Ford, right?
     
  12. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    The place in Columbus was. Yes.
     
  13. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    Want to switch jobs for a day? Here's what you'd be doing;

    Assigns all of their working interest out of OGL 58/243, Save and Except an undivided 7/64 of 8/8 ORRI which is divided up in the following proportions.

    Thayer H. Laurie - 0.00119506
    Thayer H. Laurie and R.H. Hutchinson, Trustees - 0.00079760
    Peter L. Hutchinson - 0.00019918
    Wynne H. Phelan - 0.00019918
    LWT of Richard E. Powell - 0.00119506
    LWT of Edward W. Case - 0.00119506
    Ada La May Martin - 0.00119506
    Charles S. Dewey, Jr. - 0.00124085
    Spray Corporation - 0.00039835
    PDI, Inc. - 0.02304418
    Spraberry Operations, Ltd. - 0.02610421
    Blackwood & Nichols - 0.02528825

    Subject land being 321.90 Acres of land, more or less, being all of the NE/4 and SW/4 of Section __, Block __, T_S, T & P Ry. Co. Survey, A-___, ________ County, Texas - *Limited to those Depths between 7800 Feet and 8200 Feet Below the Surface*

    Keep in mind, this is one document in the title chain and it happened in 1974. There's going to be around 600 more to throw into the equation.
     
    11853 schoonerwest, Feb 14, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2020
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  14. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    No. I have the attention span of a 4 year old. No way I could concentrate that much.

    My entire income, comes from being able to "fly off the cuff". I have the shop, but I was looking at the "papers" the other day, he was doing inventory and making orders with the distributors. I immediately regretted asking to see it. I don't know what I was thinking. I think my BIL got a little joy from my confusion. Good for him. I'll never ask again.

    i have no doubt you could sell though. You'd probably be somewhere in the 6-8k month range. I think you're better than the 4-6. 4 is average. Some word tracks and a good closer, you're an easy 10. I've seen your pic from the thread of ppl's pics., i know you're a swimmer, great personality, you'd easily be a 10 if not a 12k.
     
    11854 lurkeraspect84, Feb 14, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2020
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  15. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    I'm more of a buyer than a seller.

    I enjoy the brutal life that is a 1% success rate (if you're lucky).

    I also enjoy working in my pajamas half the time.... so there's that.
     
  16. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    Lucky. i'd love to work in sweat pants. Instead,I sweat over my pants ironing them every morning. i've been ironing my clothes for 25 years straight. It's a compulsion. I can't leave in wrinkled clothes.
     
  17. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    Dry clean FTW.

    I switch it up from season to season but my 2020 outfit has mainly been blue jeans, a collared long sleeve shirt with this vest.

    [​IMG]
     
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  18. brooky03

    brooky03 Well-Known Member
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    you never told me before that you’re a homosexual
     
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  19. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    You can’t tell me this look isn’t fly. You just can’t.

    [​IMG]
     
  20. brooky03

    brooky03 Well-Known Member
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    I’d say it’s McFly
     
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  21. brooky03

    brooky03 Well-Known Member
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    Jesus Christ, I’m funny
     
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  22. denniden

    denniden Administrator
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    Nothing like not having to wear a suit to work.
     
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  23. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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  24. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    denniden and I am stupid like this.
  25. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    Maybe someone can help here.

    So we're about to move from the concrete jungle that is Memphis to what is our perception of country Knoxville. We have to stay and live in TN for now.

    We don't need a lot of space and been renting a two bedroom house here.

    We've been talking about off gridding in a sense to where we're still going to have regular jobs, but a self sufficient home. Again, we don't need a lot of space, it's just us two, no children.

    I already have a tankless water heater. I'm shocked by anyone actually having a huge drum of water laying around constantly being heated.

    Yes, I'm a huge Musk fanboy. His powerwall is our next goal. However I have to keep it charged. I've read I can actually sell power back to the electric company. This is where I'm torn, how do I create power. Solar cells are the obvious choice. Which ones?, Wind turbine, which ones. I think until we get the Powerwall (they're not that expensive and you can stack them (3k for the original, 6500 for the gen 2)), I can use batteries or other means.

    I've been reading a lot about it, but sometimes just asking someone helps tremendously.

    Growing up in rural Kentucky, I know how to do the water/food. It's the electric i'm currently focused on.

    Skype, wifi hotspots/cell phones(unlimited internet is key.No way I can turn off that faucet), food,water,heat and electric. I'd love to have a wireless house.

    If anyone is interested, I pay ~130 mo for electric. It's more of a hobby than practical.....but Idk what it will be there, and it'd be great just to be self sufficient and not be subject to outages.

    My wife loves the joke, "we can live in a cave and have an even temperature", she's not funny, loves to bust my balls, and actually loves the idea of being one day being self sufficient. Grow, hunt, hang out with our cocks out.
     
    11865 lurkeraspect84, Feb 15, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2020
  26. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    Im sure rounding numbers is frowned upon.

    also just realized it was Saturday, I freaking hate Saturdays. See you all again on Tuesday.
     
    11866 lurkeraspect84, Feb 15, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2020
  27. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    Here you go . . . Hope this helps.

    https://www.stayenergysafe.co.uk/resources/how-to-not-get-caught-stealing-electricity/
     
  28. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    Here’s an idea for a spiff; first salesman to get a customer wanting to test drive to reach into their pocket for the key gets a free, gently-used, good condition fleshlight.
     
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  29. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    You'd fit right in with one of us.

    [​IMG]
     
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  30. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    I have to find a way to record ppl without being creepy, sued or beat up. Zero percent way of explaining this morning.

    Guys hanging out in truck, walk past, ask if he's hungry. I have a hot plate and just add water pancake mix. He's 50 something, mgr comes by, "no chance dude is buying a car, I'm feeding him". guy is about to leave and offers me a huge amount of the smelliest Marijuana I've ever smelt. probally one of the biggest bags of it as well. Two fist size. He had it wrapped up. "no thanks guy". " you were being nice" he said, "I can't take your mj". He leaves.

    Make it a bottle of bourbon and this story is different.

    he mentioned it was it his own strain. He was driving through in his truck, from Cali, just parking /sleepign where he could. brought up Grateful dead and being a roadie, I didn't /don't believe a word but who knows. It was fun listening to him while he ate the pancakes.

    I nearly walked past him and didn't ask if he was hungry. If I didn't, I wouldn't, or you guys, would be here now.

     
    11870 lurkeraspect84, Feb 15, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2020
  31. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    I'm a 100% asshole. I had dude (50's60s white guy)over he ate in my office, I had him right down my work number due to him asking for it. ...

    I later can't find my pen. It's a nice pen. I immediately think, that motherfudgepacker stole my pen. I found it on my office floor next to the desk. I told on myself by assuming he took it. mid 50's white guys are known for stealing pens. :oops:

    Next time I'm an idiot on here, and assume something stupid, don't take it personal.I'm this stupid all the time.

    Here's proof.
     
    11871 lurkeraspect84, Feb 15, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2020
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  32. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    Nah . . . I’m the same way. Actually, I’m not a very big fan of humanity in general. I wouldn’t say I’m skeptical but I’m not as kind as others. I’ll help if I feel someone is truly in need but otherwise I’m busy trying to make my own way. I think that comes from being an only child; I’m used to having to be self sufficient and can’t sympathize with those that can’t get ahead with help. Also used to long periods of time alone, so I don’t find myself lonely very often either.
     
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  33. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    If I misplace something and can not think of what happened to in 10 seconds, I start thinking of ppl, I start with my wife. Then it's just the most recent ppl I've saw. "That son of bitch, took my shit, I know it.One day, I'll get him back". I never act on anything, just think about it.
     
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  34. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    The minute I ask my wife if she's seen something I'm looking for, she says "Let me guess . . . X stole it!" because that's eventually where I'm heading.

    Some people are building a house down the street from us, and they've angled their driveway so that large construction trucks or trailers have to pass their house, and are turning around at ours. We live on a dead end. The drivers are destroying our lawn while their constructions site stays relatively pristine. I approach the new neighbors about their delivery people, asking them to tell their drivers to turn around in their yard please. Their response was "We've told them, but ultimately we can't control what they do." A reasonable thing to have said would be "We're sorry. When this is all done, we'll make it right - to your satisfaction." No such luck. Now, I find myself plotting.

    These are the reasons I don't like people.
     
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  35. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    That would cause a constant complex with me.I'd lose even more sleep over that.

    Also, I'd blame them for making me think of such demented thoughts.

    Im not good with trusting ppl. Ppl say "I'll come back" all the time,It's ruined my faith in humanity. Messing up my shit and neighbors...yeah. I'm glad I rent and don't have a front yard.

     
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  36. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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  37. brooky03

    brooky03 Well-Known Member
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    can you put some stuff in the yard where they’re turning around? Garden gnomes or some shit
     
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  38. I am stupid

    I am stupid Well-Known Member
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    And by garden gnomes you mean spike stripes that are conveniently sold on amazon?
     
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  39. toonces11

    toonces11 Well-Known Member
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    Never fails, I get the biggest surge of energy to do shit around my house......monday morning while I'm sitting at work.
     
  40. Random UK Fan

    Random UK Fan Well-Known Member
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    I like the way you all are thinking. I put up a sign just past their property telling them to turn around in the empty lot I own between us. They'll still be creating ruts, but it beats tearing up an established lawn.
     
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