The frustrations of working with someone

[TheDude1]

So, just gonna vent here, because... well, nobody here cares

I started a small business venture with a buddy recently... just a dumb little thing involving little toy soldiers.

It has REALLY taken off. Like, blown up. We just started a few months ago, and the response has been RIDICULOUS. Like, we just signed a sponsorship deal with GenCon, the largest game convention in the world, for August... we are in the same category as Mattel, which is pretty mind blowing.

But holy cow, my partner drives me nuts.

Now, he is a SUPER nice guy. Like... too nice. And he is the one who is eating most of the financial risk... he wants this to be his full time job, but I am sort of just looking at this as a fun distraction from teaching, and a chance to do something connected to my hobby.

But good lord, I feel like he is making mistakes, and it is driving me crazy.

Like... he tries to avoid bad news and interactions. We are several weeks behind in production for legit, understandable reasons. But when paid customers email to ask where their product is, he simply doesn't respond. Like, I think he feels bad or guilty and just avoids it. And it drives me NUTS... the world of little toy soldiers is a very small one (no duh) and all you need is a few angry customers to start trashing you online, and that can do a TON of damage. Plus... they are paid customers! You OWE them a certain level of service. Plus, I am the one handling most of the PR and customer relations, and I have a certain amount of visibility in the toy soldier world (I know... laugh away) and it makes ME look like the one who has the issues... but I A) have NO impact on production and shipping and B) cannot even answer the questions.

Anyway... just have to vent. There are times I hate working with other people, because I feel like people just never do things the way they need to be done.

 

[Matt Laurer]

Small business owner here. My partner happens to be my wife. I get everything you are saying. Have you spoken with him in a formal manner? Like scheduled a time to meet and laid out your concerns? If not, I’d do that ASAP.

Another question is why are you running behind? It’s not necessarily a bad thing when you think about it. You can add a disclaimer that you are creating boutique, artisanal product. Lead times can be long. Manage the supply chain in that sense and you might even create more demand.

 

[lurkeraspect84]

So, just gonna vent here, because... well, nobody here cares

I started a small business venture with a buddy recently... just a dumb little thing involving little toy soldiers.

It has REALLY taken off. Like, blown up. We just started a few months ago, and the response has been RIDICULOUS. Like, we just signed a sponsorship deal with GenCon, the largest game convention in the world, for August... we are in the same category as Mattel, which is pretty mind blowing.

But holy cow, my partner drives me nuts.

Now, he is a SUPER nice guy. Like... too nice. And he is the one who is eating most of the financial risk... he wants this to be his full time job, but I am sort of just looking at this as a fun distraction from teaching, and a chance to do something connected to my hobby.

But good lord, I feel like he is making mistakes, and it is driving me crazy.

Like... he tries to avoid bad news and interactions. We are several weeks behind in production for legit, understandable reasons. But when paid customers email to ask where their product is, he simply doesn't respond. Like, I think he feels bad or guilty and just avoids it. And it drives me NUTS... the world of little toy soldiers is a very small one (no duh) and all you need is a few angry customers to start trashing you online, and that can do a TON of damage. Plus... they are paid customers! You OWE them a certain level of service. Plus, I am the one handling most of the PR and customer relations, and I have a certain amount of visibility in the toy soldier world (I know... laugh away) and it makes ME look like the one who has the issues... but I A) have NO impact on production and shipping and B) cannot even answer the questions.

Anyway... just have to vent. There are times I hate working with other people, because I feel like people just never do things the way they need to be done.

Did anyone else read this with a Reece Witherspoon voice, or you know, like some pigtailed girl from the late 90's?

 

[KYtotheCore]

Here's how to get him up to speed . . .

 

[TheDude1]

Small business owner here. My partner happens to be my wife. I get everything you are saying. Have you spoken with him in a formal manner? Like scheduled a time to meet and laid out your concerns? If not, I’d do that ASAP.

Another question is why are you running behind? It’s not necessarily a bad thing when you think about it. You can add a disclaimer that you are creating boutique, artisanal product. Lead times can be long. Manage the supply chain in that sense and you might even create more demand.

Okay...

About the first point, we've talked about it sort of informally. But no, not like "officially." Its tricky, because he is handling the majority of the work, so I feel awkward "scolding" him (not that I would scold him, but you know what I mean?) but at the same time, I'm part of it, I'm working on it... so it's a tiny bit awkward. Plus he is SUPER super nice, and sort of avoids conflict, which makes it hard to sit him down and really discuss it. But yeah, you are right, we do have to discuss it. And I've encouraged him to tell me if something I am doing seems wrong or whatever, but he just isn't that type

We are running behind for legit reasons. First, we just got HAMMERED by how popular it turned out being. Like... when we debuted it, we had thought 15 orders would be a HUGE win... we ended up getting over 400 in the first few days. Second, the technology is still new to us... there are still issues with it, and getting everything made. Third is the tech itself... we are 3D printing stuff, and we do not have enough 3D printers to keep up (they are thousands of dollars apiece... although we JUST ordered a few more) and even what we have has issues... we had one 20 hour print that failed on the printer after like 19 hours and 45 minutes... twice. So that completely jammed up a printer for 3 days straight for a single customer. We are DEFINITELY adjusting our order times... we had quoted people 2 weeks, but now we are going to be saying a month, minimum... but still, for the people who ordered before, we have to get them out AND make sure the customer stays happy. With what we are doing, a big part of it is repeat customers, and there is no way someone who waits for 5 weeks and then doesn't get an email response will repeat, you know?

Your partner is your wife? That can either be GREAT, or TERRIBLE

 

[TheDude1]

Did anyone else read this with a Reece Witherspoon voice, or you know, like some pigtailed girl from the late 90's?

 

[lurkeraspect84]

Like, I'm just saying , I like your homage to cultural reference(s) that may one day be forgotten. ie the valley girl

 

[TheDude1]

BTW, and even simple stuff... like, if you email a customer, always start with "Hi so and so" and then include a sentence of fluff... "Oh yeah, you ordered this! How cool!" or something. You've got to interact with them in a way that makes them feel heard and valued, even if you ARE rushed and don't have time, you know?

 

[Matt Laurer]

Okay...

About the first point, we've talked about it sort of informally. But no, not like "officially." Its tricky, because he is handling the majority of the work, so I feel awkward "scolding" him (not that I would scold him, but you know what I mean?) but at the same time, I'm part of it, I'm working on it... so it's a tiny bit awkward. Plus he is SUPER super nice, and sort of avoids conflict, which makes it hard to sit him down and really discuss it. But yeah, you are right, we do have to discuss it. And I've encouraged him to tell me if something I am doing seems wrong or whatever, but he just isn't that type

We are running behind for legit reasons. First, we just got HAMMERED by how popular it turned out being. Like... when we debuted it, we had thought 15 orders would be a HUGE win... we ended up getting over 400 in the first few days. Second, the technology is still new to us... there are still issues with it, and getting everything made. Third is the tech itself... we are 3D printing stuff, and we do not have enough 3D printers to keep up (they are thousands of dollars apiece... although we JUST ordered a few more) and even what we have has issues... we had one 20 hour print that failed on the printer after like 19 hours and 45 minutes... twice. So that completely jammed up a printer for 3 days straight for a single customer. We are DEFINITELY adjusting our order times... we had quoted people 2 weeks, but now we are going to be saying a month, minimum... but still, for the people who ordered before, we have to get them out AND make sure the customer stays happy. With what we are doing, a big part of it is repeat customers, and there is no way someone who waits for 5 weeks and then doesn't get an email response will repeat, you know?

Your partner is your wife? That can either be GREAT, or TERRIBLE

Again, congrats on the success. That’s pretty cool even if this high on the ‘nerd’ quotient.

1. Being partners in a business is tough. Really tough. You have to give and receive advice without emotion. The phrase ‘it’s just business’ makes a lot more sense when you’re actually in business with someone. I’ve found these conversations are slightly easier when you formalize them. I’d be holding weekly progress/state of business type meetings. Address the reality of what this demand is and what it means for your product. Can we accelerate production? If not, how do we manage it?

2. Don’t lie to your customers. And absolutely do not ignore them. Be as honest as possible. They don’t need to know how the sausage is made, but it’s important their expectations are managed. If you haven’t already, I’d send out personalized emails to everyone along the lines of ‘due to incredible demand, we have altered the promised delivery time. Because of the highly specialized nature of these products, we are unwilling to compromise our process and deliver an inferior product. Rest assured we are doing our very best to get you that little man with a big bulge as quickly as possible. We thank you for your understanding. You might want to offer any a chance to cancel their order for a full refund. Would clear our customers not committed to your product and clean up some of that bottle neck.

I’d also keep them in the loop weekly. Let them know when you’ve started on the toy. How far along you are. Might be fun for them to follow the birth of their sex toy (that’s really what you’re making, right?)

 

[Da_Bull]

Guy needs to sack up and get his customers in the loop. I don't know how the GI Joe community is but i would hate it if i received the email above. I paid you to make my little toy guy, don't try and butter me up.

 

[829305]

Being a teacher and working w some of those idiots should make this easy for you, no? I find them frustrating as hell sometimes, and I teach w high school teachers. You’re elementary, right? Couldn’t imagine working w some of those yahoos.

 

[bkingUK]

If you guys need a digital pathway to collecting payments or any other development needs, I might be able to help. Also, have you considered outsourcing printing To 3rd party?

I tend to be pretty tough on people and not dabble in bullshit in the workplace. In case of being a stakeholder, Id probably become Hitler when it comes to things like orders not being completed. Good problem to have though.

 

[TheDude1]

Again, congrats on the success. That’s pretty cool even if this high on the ‘nerd’ quotient.

1. Being partners in a business is tough. Really tough. You have to give and receive advice without emotion. The phrase ‘it’s just business’ makes a lot more sense when you’re actually in business with someone. I’ve found these conversations are slightly easier when you formalize them. I’d be holding weekly progress/state of business type meetings. Address the reality of what this demand is and what it means for your product. Can we accelerate production? If not, how do we manage it?

2. Don’t lie to your customers. And absolutely do not ignore them. Be as honest as possible. They don’t need to know how the sausage is made, but it’s important their expectations are managed. If you haven’t already, I’d send out personalized emails to everyone along the lines of ‘due to incredible demand, we have altered the promised delivery time. Because of the highly specialized nature of these products, we are unwilling to compromise our process and deliver an inferior product. Rest assured we are doing our very best to get you that little man with a big bulge as quickly as possible. We thank you for your understanding. You might want to offer any a chance to cancel their order for a full refund. Would clear our customers not committed to your product and clean up some of that bottle neck.

I’d also keep them in the loop weekly. Let them know when you’ve started on the toy. How far along you are. Might be fun for them to follow the birth of their sex toy (that’s really what you’re making, right?)

For sure. I REALLY don't take things personally. I think he does a bit more, but is super quiet about it. I try to be gentle

And yeah, agreed on customers. You've got to treat them well so they come back, so they don't taint anyone against you, and because you SHOULD because they are your CUSTOMERS. Agreed on the sausage... but you have to keep them in the loop. If they aren't, they get mad, and especially in the world of online marketing and social media, the squeaky wheel can make a damn MESS of things.

 

[BasketBallJunkie-UK]

You should outsource your spill over, or even find a reliable outsource. Did you even have a business plan? Define rolls and tell your buddy to grow tf up. Customers are #1 and should be treated as such. Telling the truth to your customers is a start.

One of you needs to be an alpha dog.

 

[TheDude1]

You should outsource your spill over, or even find a reliable outsource. Did you even have a business plan? Define rolls and tell your buddy to grow tf up. Customers are #1 and should be treated as such. Telling the truth to your customers is a start.

One of you needs to be an alpha dog.

Yeah... the thing is, I clearly should be the alpha dog... I am, to put it mildly, driven. But my buddy A) does all of the production and shipping, which is the key to the whole thing, and B) has put in the VAST majority of the money. It makes for an awkward situation sort of?

We'll get it worked out.

Oh, and whoever mentioned the nerdiness... uh, yeah

 

[lurkeraspect84]

Yeah... the thing is, I clearly should be the alpha dog... I am, to put it mildly, driven. But my buddy A) does all of the production and shipping, which is the key to the whole thing, and B) has put in the VAST majority of the money. It makes for an awkward situation sort of?

We'll get it worked out.

Oh, and whoever mentioned the nerdiness... uh, yeah

Are you hesitant to bring it up b/c he puts up the money?

 

[TheDude1]

Are you hesitant to bring it up b/c he puts up the money?

No, I DID bring it up, and he said he understood, no problem... but I've brought up things in the past, and he doesn't always change them, you know?

 

[lurkeraspect84]

No, I DID bring it up, and he said he understood, no problem... but I've brought up things in the past, and he doesn't always change them, you know?

So he ignores your suggestions and discounts you bringing them up.

Why are we here where you're venting?

 

[bkingUK]

No, I DID bring it up, and he said he understood, no problem... but I've brought up things in the past, and he doesn't always change them, you know?

I think if you have legitimate points that will in the end drive more profit you need to drive that home and show the data why it's true. If profit isn't the driving motive then you might have bigger problems. But if I'm your partner and my interest is money, then I'd want you to push the point.

 

[I am stupid]

From a hobbyist to another....

No communication from the company is horrible. If you are behind and their stuff will be delayed they need to know. That has to be fixed.

Second, dont give an exact time they will receive it when you reply. If you say 2 weeks and it takes longer they will email again. Then if they get the same generic 2 week reply they will lose faith and feel like they are getting the run around. Likely cancelling their order.

So if you think 2 weeks say 3 or 4. They will be happier to have something ship earlier than late.



I Dont know much about your business, but be careful about adding more and more machines. You dont want to be stuck 3 months from now with 10 printers but only a few orders a day. Just something to consider.

 

[hailtoyourvictor]

Why does the OP write so many WORDS in all caps?

 

[BasketBallJunkie-UK]

Yeah... the thing is, I clearly should be the alpha dog... I am, to put it mildly, driven. But my buddy A) does all of the production and shipping, which is the key to the whole thing, and B) has put in the VAST majority of the money. It makes for an awkward situation sort of?

We'll get it worked out.

Oh, and whoever mentioned the nerdiness... uh, yeah

Startups are tough.. I've worked with several software startups. I have one presently. Just the proof of concept stage. My 1st prototype worked well. I'm scaling up my 2nd.

 

[CB3UK]

My advice, if you make it full time and professionally, is to not use like at the beginning of every other sentence when explaining things.

 

[hailtoyourvictor]

My advice, if you make it full time and professionally, is to not use like at the beginning of every other sentence when explaining things.

He has been DOING that for awhile. He uses “like” obnoxiously and writes a lot of WORDS on all caps.

 

[lkc1234]

BTW, and even simple stuff... like, if you email a customer, always start with "Hi so and so" and then include a sentence of fluff... "Oh yeah, you ordered this! How cool!" or something. You've got to interact with them in a way that makes them feel heard and valued, even if you ARE rushed and don't have time, you know?

Always end the email with the word Thanks.

 

[lkc1234]

BTW, and even simple stuff... like, if you email a customer, always start with "Hi so and so" and then include a sentence of fluff... "Oh yeah, you ordered this! How cool!" or something. You've got to interact with them in a way that makes them feel heard and valued, even if you ARE rushed and don't have time, you know?

Always end the email with the word Thanks.

 

[speedfrk]

Cut his brake lines

 

[hailtoyourvictor]

Cut his brake lines

Cut his BRAKE lines

 

[HRTheCard]

Cut his BRAKE lines

 

[mebeblue2]

Okay...

About the first point, we've talked about it sort of informally. But no, not like "officially." Its tricky, because he is handling the majority of the work, so I feel awkward "scolding" him (not that I would scold him, but you know what I mean?) but at the same time, I'm part of it, I'm working on it... so it's a tiny bit awkward. Plus he is SUPER super nice, and sort of avoids conflict, which makes it hard to sit him down and really discuss it. But yeah, you are right, we do have to discuss it. And I've encouraged him to tell me if something I am doing seems wrong or whatever, but he just isn't that type

We are running behind for legit reasons. First, we just got HAMMERED by how popular it turned out being. Like... when we debuted it, we had thought 15 orders would be a HUGE win... we ended up getting over 400 in the first few days. Second, the technology is still new to us... there are still issues with it, and getting everything made. Third is the tech itself... we are 3D printing stuff, and we do not have enough 3D printers to keep up (they are thousands of dollars apiece... although we JUST ordered a few more) and even what we have has issues... we had one 20 hour print that failed on the printer after like 19 hours and 45 minutes... twice. So that completely jammed up a printer for 3 days straight for a single customer. We are DEFINITELY adjusting our order times... we had quoted people 2 weeks, but now we are going to be saying a month, minimum... but still, for the people who ordered before, we have to get them out AND make sure the customer stays happy. With what we are doing, a big part of it is repeat customers, and there is no way someone who waits for 5 weeks and then doesn't get an email response will repeat, you know?

Your partner is your wife? That can either be GREAT, or TERRIBLE

if he is handling most of the work and most of the financial risk, why doe he need you?
just curious