To any one who can read this help. 08:40 hours Some man showed up at my house 20 minutes ago. He claims he is my biological father, and while we do look similar we are very different. He claims to be a dirt burglar, while I am a Poke. We are culturally incompatible. I attended my school for my bachelors while his father played basketball for his school. 08:50 hours He is wearing this most godawful shade of red which he calls “crimson,” and this off white color he claims is “cream.” I have informed him we are in God’s country so he should be wearing sunset orange, with either white, or black to accompany it. 08:55 hours While his driving can be erratic he does however have great taste in 60’s, and 70’s classical rock. 09:00 hours I take it back. He has horrible taste in music. This current song is making my ears bleed, and I may have a hemorrhage. He claims this is an original, but believe it has been stolen from Yale. Please for Pistol Pete’s sake shoot me now. Just end it. 09:05 hours It’s stopped for now, but I’m told we are making our way to Norman. This place is the Devil’s Anus of Oklahoma. Just on the other side of OKC a town of Edmond smells 24/7 of dog food. We are headed to a place called he calls Mont’s for BBQ, beer, and 11:00 football games before This Bedlam takes place. 09:10 hours I may be experiencing Stockholm Syndrome. While he does seem strange “culturally” to me (why would he like a school he didn’t attend?) he does seem rather nice. He has offered after the game to go see my “cousin” who plays for this Satan’s Spawn Oklahoma Sooners. Sooner is a term that is synonymous with lying, cheating and criminality. PS I will keep you up to date as the situation evolves.