Do you hold the door open for strangers?

Discussion in 'College Basketball Board' started by LetsGoDuke301, Apr 20, 2018.

  1. LetsGoDuke301

    LetsGoDuke301 Well-Known Member
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    Me, I hold the door open for anyone who is in close proximity to me. Doesn't matter if they are male, female, white, black or other. Tranny, gay and/or a unc fan.

    So what is wrong with some people where men are assholes for opening the door for women? I always thought you were an asshole for not opening the door, not only for women, but anyone else.

    [​IMG]

    Nathan E Michael knows what's up.
     
    1 LetsGoDuke301, Apr 20, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2018
  2. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    I do for elderly.

    Soon, I'll wait for younger kids to open it for me.
     
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  3. klize17

    klize17 Well-Known Member
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    Always have always will, doesn't matter who for...a lot of people don't though.
     
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  4. jhmossy

    jhmossy Well-Known Member
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    Only for attractive women
     
  5. bkingUK

    bkingUK Well-Known Member
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    Why are fringe people on Twitter becoming message board fodder for the easily triggered. Always seems to hold up some weird person's twitter account as proof of "the left gone too far." See it on the MainBoard all the time and even worse on CatsIllustrated Political thread on Paddock. I find it annoying.

    And yes I open door for people. Even dudes, especially if going on to out to eat with people or doing something for business and I'm first to door. When with my girlfriend I often act like I'm keeping it open for her then let it shut. Because I'm an asshole.
     
  6. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    If I'm walking out, and someone is coming in sure. If I notice i'm about to walk up to the door then hit or miss. Elderly, women, cart guy pushing carts, etc sure.

    A random dude, I'm just walking it. I'll do the "hold it open for behind" move, where I don't just let it close behind me.
     
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  7. npreston

    npreston Well-Known Member
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    Yes’s, absolutely. I make my boys hold the door for strangers as well (ages 12 and 9). Couple nights ago, we were out to dinner. My oldest son and I saw an elderly couple approaching the front door. Without me saying a word, he got up from our table and greeted them at the door. Held it open for them, and said “have a nice evening, sir.” You could tell it made their day. Proud dad moment right there.

    I will say though, if I hold the door open for you, and I don’t get a “thank you,” I’ll get a little pissy. I’ve started saying “you’re welcome,” if they don’t give me a nod.
     
  8. 829305

    829305 Well-Known Member
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    Hear, hear. This was my first thought. I wish more people could realize this.
     
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  9. JimboBBN

    JimboBBN Well-Known Member
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    All the time, man or woman. Just think its a nice thing to do and requires very little effort.
     
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  10. LetsGoDuke301

    LetsGoDuke301 Well-Known Member
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    Never made it about the left going too far. Wasn't triggered. It is something I am seeing more and more of. I know that most people, regardless of political affiliation are polite and courteous in public. So to make you happy, I will edit the OP to make it say some people instead of society.
     
  11. 829305

    829305 Well-Known Member
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    Bullshit. Find 100 people right now you are around and ask em what they think. 99 will think this is stupid.
     
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  12. LetsGoDuke301

    LetsGoDuke301 Well-Known Member
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    Triggered
     
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  13. 829305

    829305 Well-Known Member
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    Oh god. Really? Ha. Wow.
     
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  14. schoonerwest

    schoonerwest Well-Known Member
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    Reminds me of a Bill Maher new rule bit he did awhile back. Something along the lines of headlines constantly saying “People are outraged over _______!” He was like “STFU. 3 people are outraged.”
     
  15. LetsGoDuke301

    LetsGoDuke301 Well-Known Member
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    That's what I am saying. I admitted that it was a mistake to say society instead of some people. I did not intend to make it seem like it is a huge portion of the public who think this way. You seem REALLY butthurt for some reason. So are you saying that it is bullshit that I see more of it, or that there are people who think this way?
     
  16. mebeblue2

    mebeblue2 Well-Known Member
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    same, if they are close i hold the door open for everyone
     
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  17. Spacegrass

    Spacegrass Well-Known Member
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    Yea it's a southern culture thing. You always hold the door , especially for women or the elderly. People in this country just make sh!t up to complain about.
     
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  18. UL1986

    UL1986 Well-Known Member
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    Only for people who fit my political agenda, I politely ask them as they're approaching the door, "what is your political stance on fiscal & social constructs"? If it doesn't fit the mold of my agenda, I'll generally slam or force the door closed. Winking
     
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  19. Spacegrass

    Spacegrass Well-Known Member
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    I get it. But people in higher education actually teach those types of thought processes.
     
  20. Dattier

    Dattier Well-Known Member
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    ...the thought process that leads to that specific application, perhaps, but it would be a misapplication. I bet the number of people actually teaching that exact, hold-the-door example is closer to zero than it is to 1%.

    That's not to say there aren't numerous little tiny examples of things we do everyday by habit, without thinking, that originally tied in with attitudes we now recognize as sexist. If, for example, someone holds doors only for women, there's the historical subtext that women are incapable of doing it themselves.

    A buddy of mine told me once about a meeting he was in in a conference room. A female coworker got up to get herself a cup of coffee. He asked her if she could get him one (while she was up) and she got all indignant and refused. From his perspective, he'd have asked anyone else, male or female, the same favor under the same circumstances, and he'd have gotten a cup for someone else if the roles were reversed. She read it as expecting the woman to do the man's bidding. I think she was sincere, but I think she was wrong. How it made her feel doesn't justify treating someone else poorly.

    In a way, while I get where this kind of outrage comes from, it sort of represents buying into the idea that you are lesser and have to draw such a ridiculous line to protect yourself from being oppressed. Getting the coffee, thanking the person holding the door -- that exudes a confidence that you're not threatened by little things. I get that it could be a slippery slope, too, but pick your battles...
     
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  21. Spacegrass

    Spacegrass Well-Known Member
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    So you are equating the mindset to lack of self confidence? I get that to a degree..... A lot of people in this world are just never taught and reinforced by those teaching them as they grow , that it's someone being polite pretty much all the time.
     
    21 Spacegrass, Apr 20, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2018
  22. GE Nole

    GE Nole Well-Known Member
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    I hold it for anyone within 10-15 feet when I'm walking in. But I'll wait longer if it's a hot woman so I can look at her ass after she walks by.
     
  23. AWilli6995

    AWilli6995 Well-Known Member
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    Also I may add I was taught to give my seat to a elderly person. Opening the door or holding it for others came natural to me.
     
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  24. LetsGoDuke301

    LetsGoDuke301 Well-Known Member
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    You can go even further by dropping something for her to pick up for you.
     
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  25. Dattier

    Dattier Well-Known Member
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    "In a way..." At least as far as how it comes across.

    I get that confidence is a product of what we've experienced, how we've been treated, and how we've been coached/taught/raised/etc. I also support addressing problematic treatment directly and firmly. Addressing it with hostility seems to assume the motive is consciously malicious, which isn't the best way to teach people how you'd rather be treated.
     
  26. Spacegrass

    Spacegrass Well-Known Member
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    My wife gets annoyed with me if we are out somewhere at say a crowded bar and only 1 bar seat is available. She works in an office setting so she sometimes likes to stand because of that. So I will sit to hold the seat in case she wants it eventually. I will pester her every 10-15 minutes asking her "do you want to sit down"?
     
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  27. WheelerG

    WheelerG Well-Known Member
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    I do the same thing you do...for everyone. There are so many people out there now that have been trained to seek out offense, it's sickening.
     
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  28. Dattier

    Dattier Well-Known Member
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    Not really.
     
  29. bkingUK

    bkingUK Well-Known Member
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    I mean the thinrg is... if any coworker ever asked me to get their coffee and I'd politely tell them to **** off and get their own coffee. So maybe she wasn't offended because she's female but your buddy was kind of an asshole.

    Now, I might offer to get somebody coffee. But I'm sure as hell not asking anyone to get my coffee, not even an intern.
     
  30. Dattier

    Dattier Well-Known Member
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    The way he told it, it was more like, "Ooh, could I get some, too?" Knowing him, though, you could be right.
     
  31. TheDude1

    TheDude1 Well-Known Member
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    Always, for everyone. I teach my students and my own kids to do the same. You do someone a small kindness, they do a small kindness for someone else, and it passes on.
     
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  32. CB3UK

    CB3UK Well-Known Member
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    For women I will open it and stand aside so they may enter. For dudes I will hold it open as I walk in so they can grab it and walk in.
     
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  33. KisteK

    KisteK Well-Known Member
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    I hold the door far more often than I open the door.
     
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  34. TheDude1

    TheDude1 Well-Known Member
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    That reminds me... walking out of the library a few months back. An older woman was coming through the door before we could get there, and held it for my barely 3 year old daughter. The old lady and I were about to exchange greetings when I My daughter looked up at her and said, as calmly and maturely as you can imagine, “Why, thank you so very much.” We were both so taken aback and how we said it, and both burst out laughing. My two say thank you to everyone. Love raising polite kids.
     
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  35. GE Nole

    GE Nole Well-Known Member
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    But what if I'm trying to hold it for you? Gotta get my creep stare on.
     
  36. KisteK

    KisteK Well-Known Member
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    If you have the googly face while holding it, I usually shimmy a bit.
     
  37. lurkeraspect84

    lurkeraspect84 Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
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  38. Bert Higginbotha

    Bert Higginbotha Well-Known Member
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    that is me also.

    Life is short, be nice.
     
  39. Simple_Man

    Simple_Man Well-Known Member
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    Oh pics please!!!
     
  40. coryfly

    coryfly Well-Known Member
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    Yes, I hold the door for strangers, take people's carts in for them, put groceries back when some idiot decides they don't want something and are too lazy to put it back themselves, throw trash away if I see it on the ground, let people merge most of the time, don't really care about where I park, let her be on top if she wants, etc...

    I'm rude if someone deserves it but only then. I'm pretty laid back and nice most of the time. People get worked up too often in real life IMO. I'm all about no stress and treating people decent.
     
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